Oh Holy Hell!

This blog still exists?!!  I have a story to tell ….

Quite some time back, when I first created this blog, I wasn’t really sure what I was doing.  I mean, I already had the Youtube channel for the videos I had created, and I couldn’t really picture how a separate text blog would mesh with that.  So I was winging it.

Then, well … the whole video thing sort of dried up.  I don’t think it’s over, in that I have some ideas for new videos, and plenty of people have sent me ideas and suggestions.  But I wasn’t (and still am not, obviously) regularly producing new videos, which pretty much negated whole idea of this blog.

“When are you going to make a new video, Rob?”  I felt bad.  😦

At the same time, while I was not producing anything new, I got a notice from WordPress that my subscription couldn’t be renewed because my Visa account was no longer valid.  I’m not entirely sure what the deal is with the main Visa account I use, but it seems like they send me a new card / number every six months or so.  My understanding is that sometimes a security breach occurs in such companies that requires them to cancel multiple cards and issue new ones to the users.  I’m okay with that, in that it’s better than the alternative of somebody stealing my identity and racking up charges on my account, but in my case it seems to happen a LOT!  I was issued a new card at the end of last year when my subscription was up for renewal.  So while in a malaise from not producing any new videos, I never entered my new Visa info into my WordPress account, and I just assumed it was history.

Incidentally, it just recently happened again.  I got a new Visa number just the other day, and my expiration date is still only around three months away.  It’s a real pain in the ass, having to constantly update my billing info at Apple, Amazon, AT&T, Paypal, etc., etc., etc..

So I was under the impression that ZombieSymmetry.com no longer existed.  The website was gone.  Poof!  I wondered about it, but I didn’t want to look.  I didn’t want to turn my browser to ZombieSymmetry.com just to be met with a cold Error 404, or a message that the domain no longer existed.  So I shielded my eyes.  Look away!  It’s hideous!

Fast forward to the present.  It has been my goal for sometime to write.  To explore new interests.  To be what one cannot be while working in the Dilbert Hell that is the pharmaceutical industry:  Creative.  But I haven’t been writing at all.  I read.  I twiddle my thumbs.  I think about writing all the damn time.  But I don’t fucking do it!  Why?

Well, my topics of interest are all over the damn place, for one thing.  Politics, religion, human nature, social structure, behavior, chemistry, physics, math, science fiction, non-fiction, satire, parody, on and on and on.  There is no cohesive force.  No underlying fabric to tie it all together.  My thoughts and ideas are just one great big pile of unrelated parts and widgets.  It’s easy enough to put a jigsaw puzzle together when you know the end result is a single picture or scene.  In my case, I feel like I’m staring at a mountain of jigsaw puzzle pieces from an unknown number of puzzles of unknown origin.  One piece might belong to picture of a horse.  Another might be a car or a panoramic park scene or a Salvador Dali painting.  I dunno.  When you have such a pile of random jigsaw pieces staring you in the face, it’s easy to feel defeated.

So THEN I THOUGHT ….. [Getting windy, I know!]

So then I thought, what if I resurrect ZombieSymmetry.com from the ashes and use that as a sort of online diary?  To force myself to write?  I can maybe change the name of the blog from “Trustus Pharmaceuticals” to something more appropriate, like “Bat-Shit CRAZY Man’s Random Pile of Psychotic Ramblings.”  Whatcha think?  Am I on to something, or what?

Anyway, I’ve been thinking along these lines for several weeks, and only today have I gotten up the nerve to type “zombiesymmetry.com” into my browser.  Holy shit!  I was floored when it came up.  It’s not disappeared at all.  It seems the only thing that disappeared was me!

So, to any subscribers of this blog that may still linger … I’m back.  I think!  But the nature of this blog is going to change.  The Trustus Pharmaceuticals aspect will remain as a sideshow and peripheral component, but the main part is going to be filled with all manner of useless ramblings.  It’s my hope that I can use this platform to force a little discipline upon myself, and force myself to do what I set out to do a couple of years back.  Who knows … maybe a cohesive picture will emerge after all.  Or maybe the end result will appear no more sane than Ted Kaczynski’s manifesto.  We’ll see!  🙂

Final note:  It turns out, looking at my billing history and whatnot, that the only thing that expired was the custom theme / font package I was using.  My domain doesn’t expire until the end of 2014 to looks like.  I’m going to have to get that custom package back on my account I think, because the default WordPress themes and fonts sort of blow.

This entry was posted in Thoughts On Writing and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Oh Holy Hell!

  1. Michael Corelone says:

    Just when I thought I was out… they pull me back in.

  2. globetrotter says:

    Too bad, really going to miss the videos.

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