Three-Pronged Monstrosity

I looked down at the three-pronged monstrosity sticking out of the kid’s mouth.

fork“Where ya’ from, boy?”

“Effingham,” he said as he pulled the trident from his mouth and stuck it into a fresh piece of meat.

“Effingham!” I repeated, looking at the slab of meat on his paper plate. “Looks more like an effing pork chop to me!”

“Ha … ha,” he answered slowly. “That’s a real good one, mister. I ain’t never heard that joke before. You’re a real comedian.”

“Ya’ll don’t have forks in Effingham?” I asked.

“Course we do, Mister. What do you think I’m eating this pork chop with?” He shoved the meat-laden trident back into his mouth.

“That ain’t no fork,” I said. “That three-pronged monstrosity is what we call a trident. In the civilized world, forks have four prongs.”

The boy pulled the utensil out of his mouth slowly and held it up in front of him, the four prongs gleaming in the sunlight. “They don’t know how to effing count wherever the hell you’re from, mister?”


PHOTO PROMPT Copyright – Marie Gail Stratford

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13 Responses to Three-Pronged Monstrosity

  1. GREAT characterization in this boy! I love it!

  2. Helena Hann-Basquiat says:

    Great effing dialogue, darling. A really fantastic pair of characters.

  3. camgal says:

    Haha rotfl. Great effing dialogue and biting wit. If that was a real conversation I wouldn’t make it to the end…too busy laughing 🙂

  4. Great dialogue between two rather odd characters. Cheers!

  5. That is some snappy dialogue and a nice ending too. Great story all around.

  6. storydivamg says:

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! It’s good to have you along for the ride. Fun take on the prompt here.


  7. draliman says:

    Nice dialogue! That kid has a come-back for everything.

  8. Dear ZombieSymmetry,

    Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Interesting take on the prompt. Strong dialogue.



  9. P.S. Joshi says:

    ZS, Welcome to Friday Fictioneers! I agree that this is a good story with great dialogue. That was one smart kid. I think the adult should have quit while he was ahead. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

  10. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Zombie – Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Love your story and you’re right about the 4 prongs being a fork – not a trident. Funny and very witty – glad you’re here! Nan 🙂

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