It’s Not Ebola, I Swear!

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PHOTO PROMPT Copyright — Madison Woods

“Oh … my … God!” The rather sexy, bikini-clad woman in the hammock looked down at the glob of goo that had dribbled out of my mouth and then back up to me. “Are you like dying or something?”

It was such a lovely spot for a hammock: A shady little nook just off the sand on the Bahamian beach. I coughed and hacked a bit more and admired the colorful material that had been expelled from my mouth.

“That’s nothing,” I said. “You should see what’s been coming out of the other end! Don’t worry though: I’m sure it’s not Ebola.”

She packed up her stuff in a hurry and took off running. The hammock was mine! I put my novelty phlegm away and lay back in the shade.

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24 Responses to It’s Not Ebola, I Swear!

  1. Creative take 🙂 Nothing’s better than to get a hammock of your own..

  2. Crazy stuff there! Gave me a laugh!

  3. Sandra says:

    Hilarious! Totally. 🙂

  4. Smart. I’ll try that one day.

  5. Lynda says:

    What a rat.
    I liked it!

  6. Sneaky, sneaky!
    … where can I buy this “novelty phlegm” you speak of? 😉
    Great laughs!

  7. Elizabeth says:

    I’m sure this girl will never go close to him again.

  8. Oh, so good. And the phlegm, so useful. Excellent!

    janet

  9. draliman says:

    Very funny! That’s one way to ensure a decent spot on the beach.

  10. Archon's Den says:

    Oh, that’s cute. So it was you, ahead of me at the joke store. Did you get the last of the fake vomit too?? 😕 😆

  11. Ooh. i like a jokester.
    I still have my flatulence pillow somewhere. Send me your address, I’ll FedEx it to you.
    Much less disgusting than snot.
    Plus, if you use it while on the hammock, nobody will ever come near you.
    Randy

  12. Nan Falkner says:

    All you need is some warm Limburger cheese in a barf bag and a little bit of this creepy sludge and you have an instant “Keep Away” sign! – well maybe you don’t need the cheese – I don’t know what the “ick” stuff smells like. Thanks! Nan 🙂

  13. subroto says:

    She’s like not that clued on. That’s such a fantastic sneaky trick to use. Except when the ambulance guys roll in.

  14. P.S. Joshi says:

    Z.S., Hilarious. 😄 That’s one way to get what you want. I hope he never plans to date her or any of her friends. Well written. 🙂 —Susan

  15. kirizar says:

    What I really liked about this…there is a bikini-clad woman…and your character just wants the hammock. Nice priorities.

    • You know, I didn’t even stop to think about that. But now that you mention it … it IS kind of odd!

      But then again, the beaches in the Bahamas are crawling with bikini-clad women, but those hammocks are scarce! 😀

  16. This is a hoot. What one will do for a hammock!

  17. Amy Reese says:

    Ha ha! A hammock is totally worth it. Excellent, fun read!

  18. Blake says:

    So, in this scene we have a “rather sexy, bikini-clad woman in a hammock” and the narrator proceeds to make a pass at the hammock… Hmm it’s possible he might be coming down with something, after all 😉

  19. MissTiffany says:

    Bahahaha. Nicely done.

  20. Perry Block says:

    I dunno. I would have chased away the hammock and kept the chick. But to each his own!

    • Yeah, I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this!

      Then again, once she was thoroughly disgusted with the fake phlegm, the hammock was probably the safer bet. 😛

  21. AJ says:

    Haha, like it, very creative!

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