They Ain’t Pervs!


Copyright – Janet Webb

“Martin …”

“Yes, my little pelvic affiliate? Num num!”

Candice pointed to the window. “Shh! Cut it out. I thought I saw something moving out there!”

I looked up from Candice’s neck at the window reflected in the bathroom mirror. “Nobody there,” I said. “No pervs out there. Num num!”

“Are you sure? I don’t want the neighbrohood kids watching us, you know … doing the nasty.”

“Ain’t no neighborhood kids, dahlin’,” I said. “Zombies done ate them all months ago.”

“But the zombies then … I don’t think I want them watching either!”

“Zombies ain’t pervs, Candice. They just want to eat your brains. Num num!”

“You have a very strange perspective on things, Martin. You know that, right?”

“I know. Num num!”

This is probably a bit weird. I looked at the photo prompt for this week’s Friday Fictioneers and drew a blank. Doh!

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19 Responses to They Ain’t Pervs!

  1. Well, this made me laugh. Especially that “num, num” part.

  2. Sandra says:

    I’m a nom nom girl myself, but I guess it all boils down to the same thing. Great take on the prompt.

  3. Ha! Poor Candice. She doesn’t get taken seriously and his pet name for her is Num Num… Poor poor Candice! 😉

  4. Everyone has their point of view, right? Have you been watching the McD ad for the jalapeno burger? Num, num. 🙂


  5. kirizar says:

    I thought for a minute Martin was going to turn out to be a zombie…it sounds like he is chewing on her neck.

  6. draliman says:

    Ha ha, “pelvic affiliate” 🙂
    Nothing worse than a crowd of zombies peering in the window when you’re trying to “get it on”.

  7. Sorchia D says:

    Yep, he’s working up to her brains, isn’t he? And I particularly like “pelvic affiliate.” Nice zompocalyptic scene.

  8. Archon's Den says:

    And yet you still got such a cute little story out of a blank. It’s just that I’m about three days past having enough of this zombie stuff. 😦

  9. Dear Zombie,

    Brain eaters? Not pervs at all. Right.



  10. Lol 🙂 I felt a high school thriller scene forming…

  11. Zombies, Pervs and Num Nums, oh my! I totally thought Martin would be a zombie. 😉

  12. Melanie says:

    I don’t know. I don’t have a whole lot of experience with zombies, but I just don’t think I could get it on knowing they could be lurking just about anywhere. Good for Candice.

  13. hafong says:

    Num, num indeed! Why do we call it ‘the nasties”? That is like putting water on the flames. 🙂


  14. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear ZombieSymmetry, Great story – I think he’s up to no good myself- Have you ever been at a dinner party and someone makes a lot of noise while eating – it’s really unnerving! Good story, Num,num, good!
    Nan 🙂

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