Soul Train

Copyright — Jennifer Pendergast

“Told you so!” I croaked to Sal as we approached the stationary freight train. “You said it was a mirage — a goddamn Fata Morgana. Well, ain’t no goddamn mirage.” Sal didn’t have the energy to respond.

We were spent, having walked for hours in the desert Sun in search of water or shelter. I touched the train: It was real. But it was also silent and seemed abandoned. The freight cars radiated like ovens in the desert Sun. They were no shelter.

My eyes had no tears to shed as I turned to Sal in dispair. “Sal? …  Sal?” He was not there.

An entry to this week’s Friday Fictioneers photo prompt. I must say I struggled with this one! I checked the photograph early yesterday morning thinking I would get the jump on it, but I couldn’t really put any kind of story together. All kinds of things came to me, but nothing that I could hammer into a complete story — just a series of incomplete, disconnected thoughts. So I put it away and mulled it over yesterday and this morning before finally something reasonably complete came to me. 🙂

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14 Responses to Soul Train

  1. ansumani says:

    Great twist ! Nice one!

  2. Amy Reese says:

    Oh, so interesting. Your story resembles mine in many ways. I always thought the train was very mirage-like. Great story.

  3. Archon's Den says:

    Am I here commenting? Oh, yes. Well done. 🙂

  4. draliman says:

    Things aren’t looking good for the narrator. Or Sal, if he ever existed.
    I had the exact same problem this week. Lots of thoughts for stories, no endings.

  5. Oh dear! Rather you than me!

  6. mjlstories says:

    I think it’s better that we don’t know what’s really happening – I like this story just as it is. Well done.
    Perhaps trains are like that. There is something about this prompt.

  7. Looks like taking a little time to digest the image really paid off. Sharp, suspenseful story telling

  8. Creatopath says:

    A mysterious ending unless Sal was just a mirage too.

  9. Dear Zombie,

    T’would appear that Sal’s the mirage. Nicely done.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

  10. Nan Falkner says:

    Dear Zombie – Eerie and perfect! I have goosebumps with this story. WOW! Nan 🙂

  11. Margaret says:

    The mind can play tricks. Great twist at the end.

  12. milliethom says:

    Great story and very well written In such burning heat, without food or water, I’m sure the mind will start to play tricks. It’s interesting to speculate as to whether Sam had just disappeared or had never existed in the first place. 🙂

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