Category Archives: Humor & Rants

Social commentary, non-fiction humor, and general rants.

In Defense of a Lunatic

I am an atheist, so it feels a little weird that I find myself wanting to defend someone who, in my view, is a religious fruitcake. Still, I’ve been watching the media orgasm all over this Kim Davis story for … Continue reading

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Trumpocracy

Anybody else remember when Donald Trump played the Secretary of Education in the movie Idiocracy?

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Presidential Hopefuls Demonstrate They Eat Fair Meat Just Like People

I dunno man … eating shitty pork at the Iowa State Fair must be important. Every four years here in the US, our presidential hopefuls head to the Fair and make sure plenty of photos are taken of them touching … Continue reading

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Washington Post Goes High Tech, Atari 2600 Style

I was reading a Washington Post article about the crazy number of police shootings in the US so far this year. It’s a good article, but I kept getting distracted by the groovy high tech graphics that Washington Post is using … Continue reading

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Colombian Crotch Fashion

In case anyone has missed it, a Colombian Women’s Cycling Team has been shaking up Europe this week. Apparently that flesh-colored midsection in the photo is actually “gold”. Amusingly, the lighting for this photo casts just a touch of shadow … Continue reading

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Big Brother Wants to Sell You a Goddamn “Down With Big Brother” T-Shirt

I noticed an advertisement on Facebook today for a “Down With Big Brother” t-shirt. Oh, the fucking irony! Somewhere along the way, I listed George Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four as one of my favorite books in my Facebook profile. Facebook’s algorithms … Continue reading

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The President of the United States is Not a Superhero

At any given moment in history, the President of the United States might be a democrat or republican. The President might be liberal or conservative, male or female, black or white, gay or straight. Yet despite all of the possible … Continue reading

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Cure For Everything Now Patented!

Got a bat-shit crazy idea? Do you tend to ramble incoherently? Then you need write a patent! No worries — the US patent office will accept anything, no matter how crazy it is. Case in point: US Patent No. 8,609,158 … Continue reading

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I Fouwned The Moist Miss Speiled 4um On The InterTOOB!!!

I was browsing around VICE bright and early this morning when I stopped to read this article on the Flat Earth Society. It’s an interview and it’s pretty interesting. Among the things I learned this morning: The Sun and Moon … Continue reading

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Kahlúa Says: No Gingerbread for YOU!

Kahlúa responded today to an email query from me regarding this years holiday “limited edition” flavors. Thank you for your feedback Rob! Unfortunately, US won’t relaunch gingerbread this year but some stores might have some left. There will be peppermint mocha and … Continue reading

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The Creeping Slime Mold That Is Spam

Last month, I posted a short story called Sputnik The Alien Spambot. It’s kind of a weird story about an alien probe that lands on Earth and has a bit of a problem with spam. Anyway, it turns out that Sputnik The … Continue reading

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Rise Of The Sex-Crazed Space Geckos

When contact was lost recently with a Russian spaceship carrying a colony of sex-crazed space geckos, the horny reptiles on board had no idea their internal communications were being recorded by the US National Security Agency (NSA), who of course thought … Continue reading

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ScienceNews Magazine Thinks The Onion is Peer-Reviewed

An article appeared this past week on ScienceNews titled “Schadenfreude starts young.” The gist of the article is that being an asshole starts in childhood (Schadenfreude is the pleasure derived in the misfortune of others). Interestingly, the first version of … Continue reading

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CNN Breaking News: We’re OUT!

CNN announced today that they are leaving the business of reporting the news so that they can devote their full attention to their core business of advertising for the Lockheed Martin company. Said Wolf Blitzer: “That whole news shtick was just a … Continue reading

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Huffington Post vs. Fox News — Advertising Ethics

I’m not a fan of Fox News. It’s not a political thing … I just don’t like them. Still, those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, and Huffington Post throws an awful lot of stones. I wouldn’t have gone to … Continue reading

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Evolution Of That Hairy Icon Guy

In the beginning, God created Che Guevara. And Che was without form and void; and darkness was upon his douchbag face. That was in 1928 — the beginning is more recent than you probably thought. And God said, Damn, that ain’t right! … Continue reading

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Block Bullshit

It would be so much easier if Facebook has a simple “Block Bullshit” option …

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Time Travel & The Grassy Knoll

If it were possible to travel backwards in time, this is what Dealey Plaza and the Grassy Knoll would have looked like on November 22, 1963: Actually, it would probably have been a lot more crowded than that picture. Those people would … Continue reading

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Palcohol, George Jetson, the Media, and Charles Schumer

Palcohol — the new powdered form of alcohol — is something that slipped by my radar when media reports began breaking about it a few months back. I don’t drink a whole lot, so it’s not the sort of thing … Continue reading

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More on Google Suckage

There have been a few hyperventilating news articles about Google lately, such as Google Beats Apple As BrandZ Most Valuable Global Brand. But Google is still Shitty! I have been using this blog as a convenient place to write all manner of … Continue reading

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