Tag Archives: Friday Fictioneers

Maybe You Shouldn’t Drink That?

“Ashish!” said Sal as he washed his glassware at the laboratory sink, “You look like shit!” “I feel like shit, man!” said Ashish. “I’ve gained eight pounds in the last week, but I’m not fatter in the slightest: I’m just … Continue reading

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Soul Train

“Told you so!” I croaked to Sal as we approached the stationary freight train. “You said it was a mirage — a goddamn Fata Morgana. Well, ain’t no goddamn mirage.” Sal didn’t have the energy to respond. We were spent, having … Continue reading

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Sunday Service

Crusty Mavis ran the most profitable brothel in Lexington county, thanks largely to the Northboro Baptist Church. They had built their church right next door and then demanded that Mavis close her ‘business’ which was unlawfully close to their sacred ground. … Continue reading

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The Crappiest Band in Pickens County

The Residents of Magnolias Assisted-Living made up — Martha was sure of it — the worst band in Pickens County. That the police had not run them out of the park an hour ago was a miracle. She pulled the trumpet … Continue reading

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Ghosts

Exclusion Zone Expedition; Day 37. We penetrated deeper into the exclusion zone today and came upon the remnants of another house. Very little of the structure remains. What are ghosts? I’ve never believed in them in the conventional sense, yet … Continue reading

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Smoke It Up There, Kid!

Brad could feel Marie’s eyes boring into him like a pair of surgical lasers. Surrounded by children on Brad’s festively decorated and brightly lit porch, Marie stepped close and seethed into his ear: “God damn it, Brad, candy cigarettes are not … Continue reading

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Space Invaders

The wine rack across the bar from me burst into all manner of groovy, swirling colors. “Whoa!” I said. “What do you call this shit again?” “Space Invaders,” said Sal. “The latest in hallucinogenic malware. It’s kind of like LSD, … Continue reading

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Crusty Mavis vs. The Imbecile

Mavis’s leathery cheeks molded themselves into an almost imperceptible smile as she watched, through yellowed eyes, the commotion on the beach. Celebrity debutante Harris Pilton had arrived with her entourage that morning and was busy posing for her photo shoot. The … Continue reading

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They Ain’t Pervs!

“Martin …” “Yes, my little pelvic affiliate? Num num!” Candice pointed to the window. “Shh! Cut it out. I thought I saw something moving out there!” I looked up from Candice’s neck at the window reflected in the bathroom mirror. “Nobody there,” … Continue reading

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A Glimmer of Human Sedition

Doug cradled his coffee cup in his numb fingers as he warmed his weary bones beside the fire. Far to the east, a dome of light illuminated the night sky: The city from which they had fled, where electricity and heat … Continue reading

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It’s Not Ebola, I Swear!

“Oh … my … God!” The rather sexy, bikini-clad woman in the hammock looked down at the glob of goo that had dribbled out of my mouth and then back up to me. “Are you like dying or something?” It … Continue reading

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Navigate Off Road

“Turn right and continue for two miles.” Bud eyed the dashboard suspiciously. “Are you sure you know where you’re going?” “Recalculating,” purred the strangely erotic feminine voice of the truck. “In zero point three miles, turn left.” “Left?” asked Bud. “I thought … Continue reading

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Collecting Time

“Well? Whaddya think?” “It’s … nice. But honey … can’t you collect snowglobes? Or music boxes or stamps?” “I prefer to collect that which can’t be collected: Time, history, moments.” “Hourglasses!” she said. “You can collect hourglasses! Like the sands … Continue reading

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What the Hell is THAT?

This is my third week participating in Friday Fictioneers — something I started to do as a way to prod myself into writing more. It helps, and it’s a bit of fun. I’m not quite used to the idea of being … Continue reading

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Juicy Fruit

“Take a good long look,” said the US Marshal next to me as I gazed out the airplane window. “You’ll never see this place again.” Underneath the jacket folded over my arms, I could feel the handcuffs cutting into me. … Continue reading

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Three-Pronged Monstrosity

I looked down at the three-pronged monstrosity sticking out of the kid’s mouth. “Where ya’ from, boy?” “Effingham,” he said as he pulled the trident from his mouth and stuck it into a fresh piece of meat. “Effingham!” I repeated, … Continue reading

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